Arranging lives

by Ravi Tandon

Over the past 9 months, something I have come to realize is that independence of thought and liberty in action is very critical for the development of the intellect of a human being. India, as a society, has a very hypocritical stance when we come to think of choosing our life partners. Our society supports a very different and yet weird concept of “arranging” relationships, a term so crude and meaningless.

When we think of choices that we make in our lives, it is hard for me as an individual to work on an idea that I detest for even a week  and yet we can imagine people living their lives together with no acquaintance. The repercussions of such an ideology is that we go through a social conditioning during our childhood that teaches us that those who indulge with people from the opposite sex are liable to become immoral. It may eventually lead to lack of confidence, awkwardness and sexual repression for certain individuals. Over a longer period time, a large section of the youth could become clueless as to what actually is moral and what is not. On the hindsight, what I have learned early in my childhood, seems pretty unnatural to me. The idea of having to arrange for something does not make sense, since emotions are there within, and there is a natural and innate self one cannot suppress, no matter how you ever define morality.

One of the sadder repercussions is that it seems like very few societies actually purport the idea of “arranging” a lifelong relationship. The simplest explanation I can think of is that of liberty and naturalness. It is during the later half of the 20s you start thinking of what is next and it is not a very good (I would say unnatural) state to be in when you are looking into nothingness. As a being, one of the worst states, to be in is that of cluelessness. For once it is good to having tried and failed, however, when the ideas ingrained in yourself are self contradictory and unnatural there is bound to be that sense of hopelessness.

I believe, there are certain ideologies, that are wasteful and are propagated out of fear without any sense of understanding of a being’s individual rights and privileges. It might be the bane that generations carry due to a lack of flexibility and pure senselessness. For an act that can affect one’s happiness so much, deprivation instead of encouragement is callous, to say the least on the part of one’s upbringing.