Thoughts & Reflections

Think beautiful, live beautiful.

Category: Pain

Solitude

Sometimes in solitude, 
sometimes in loneliness, 
you realizes the powers, 
that lie hidden 
Sometimes in pain, 
sometimes in sorrow, 
in defeat, and anguish,
lie your greatest potential

Forgo the bygones !!

Oh, forgo the bygones, forget every pain,
Live a cheerful life, every moment a gain.
Rise above the clutches of sorrow and grief,
Forget those failures, over a period, very brief.

Let’s dream of a future, a future so bright,
Daylight may fade, away from its light.
For hope is the soul of passion, of desire,
That burns within  a warrior like fire. 

Fly, like the birds, over sea, over vale,
Oh, how it ever flies, in perpetual motion.
Oh, how beautiful, in the sky they sail,
Such a wonderful lesson, from God’s creation.

P.S. Photo Credits:

  1. http://assets4.bigthink.com/system/idea_thumbnails/38160/original/happy_2.jpg?1304248369
  2. http://www.livinginsidehope.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/bigstockphoto_I_m_The_Best_324629.jpg
  3. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8lfnv2KqkHU/TTrOVvYtA8I/AAAAAAAAARA/hjFzYcHW0qE/s1600/fly-bird-photography-nikon-ds.jpeg 

Om

I have been reading, Upanishads for the modern world by G.K. Pillai.  In one of the passages, it describes the meaning of the word Om. The work Om encompasses the eternity of our existence. It symbolizes the unborn and the eternal energy around us. It gives rise to all the material existence around us. Om symbolizes the “Brahman”, “Supreme Consciousness”, “The One”.
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Reminiscences

What a shame, we could not go along,
And make life a bliss, a happy song.
Why emotions could not stand strong,
To acknowledge the right from wrong.

While those moments have passed by,
those reminiscences seem to be as still.
And I try forget the past, and move on,
Only to find that perhaps I’ve lost that will.

Why the sorrow remains behind,
why does the pain stay?
Why the heart ever loves,
why does the soul ever pray?

Moments of Happiness


When life becomes an illusion,
When time seems meaningless.
Oh, then you realize the beauty,
Of moments that fly by, careless.

When feelings become so pure,
When your heart cries with love.
And life seems so wonderful,
That all pain recedes to joy.

Oh, hold them in your memories,
Hold them by your heart and soul.
For they are the secrets ingredients,
Of a happy and joyous life.

Sorrow of perpetuity

How beautiful moments pass by,
And the sad ones take eternity,
Why the happiness moves away,
Leaving a sorrow of perpetuity.

And the memories come back, 
Reminding you of a time that has gone.
And the feelings emerge from the past,
A time that has been left and done.

What slaves are we, of thoughts, of memories,
Of the past that is so weak and yet so potent.
How we wish to be free, and yet be entangled,
Within the chains of our precedent.

 

From a friend’s perspective to a friend !!!!

We were classmates in standard VIth and then she left the school. We were hardly acquainted with each other. So. I was never reminded of her until I saw on her on Facebook. She looked any ordinary friend from my school. I could remember her ever so slightly. We then became friends first on Facebook. For up to 3-4 months there were hardly any chats, I can recall.

It was in the summer of 2011 that we were really started chatting. I was on an internship in the University of New Hampshire, US. She had a summer break. To start off with, I was a bit reluctant to talk. I prefer to do my own studies and have a limited set (3-4) friends I usually talk on the internet. Yet she seemed to be very upbeat and insisted on chatting. The initial phase was a bit boring. I really had topics to chat on. She gave me topics, asked about what I liked, what I did not, I asked her back too. We talked about relationships at times what kind  of a partner would we like, she asked me about my internship work to which my replies were too mundane to her. I asked her about what they do at law (OK she is a lawyer, I forgot to tell you that). We talked about our friends, our common friends – who had come to what over all these years. And so went on a long series of quite funny and yet interesting conversations for a period of 2 and a half months. Initially it was her who used to ping me, then I started to look out for her pings and then it became so customary for her to ping me at specific time to the extent that I would feel bad if I did not get her ping. Then I started pinging her back and there was no stopping to our conversations. I was quite alone on my internship and I felt refuge in a friend like her who would keep my spirits up when I felt friendless.

My internship ended by about July 2011. I came back to India. I was really looking forward to getting to know of my newly formed friend. From chats the conversations shifted to phone calls which which she seemed surprisingly happy. From calls to frequent texts and over a period of 2-3 months we used to a point of sharing so many details with each other, every problem asking for advice on little issues, leg pulling, much to the amusement.  We were to get back to our homes in December – the semester break (we live in the same city still). So, we planned a lot over a month or so as to how we would meet. It seemed to me that I had started to like this girl, who came from nowhere and coaxed a person like me (who dreads the other sex so much that he gets nightmares in talking to them) in talking and sharing some of the closest feelings with her. Yet I was in denial and I put it up as just attraction and she would just another friend and nothing more (which I came to know was not really the case later on).

Meanwhile, we met in December. We had two meetings. One at a coffee shop (that may be one day I would never be able to forget) and second a lunch. She looked to me like the perfect friend, who understood me the best and was ready to give time to share her thoughts with me and listen to my own views. It was like an unlikely friendship – that entailed only two meetings and yet we knew so much about the other person. It was then that she started to realize that things were going in the wrong directions and she had never intended to be in any kind of relationship with me (but by now the damage had been done). She was pretty clear about it from the start yet her intentions never met with how she went about our friendship and I could not realize that I was so much in love with her that it would take so much time to get over her (FYI – the process is still on). She still wanted us to be friends. I must tell you that I am pretty bad at convincing people (would make a terrible manager) and give in to people’s requests easily and so be it. I tried explaining her that it would too difficult for us to be friends for I knew how much I liked her and would bring pain and nothing else. Still she reasoned that breaking a friendship was never going to solve anything and that she liked me as a friend. I agreed.

Then there was a period of retrospection where I could not understand (and still have not) as to what went wrong. Why was I not able to interpret her feelings ? What could I do to go on with my life ? How could I forgo of my feelings for her ?
Well I have realized that it is hard for one to forget someone you have true feelings for. If  your emotions have ever been true for someone then it takes a very long time to realize the separation. And now whenever I look at any of her pics, messages etc. it reminds me of that beautiful period, of those pristine memories and yet wonderful emotions that our friendship had evoked. I have tried my level best to let go of her, perhaps a fight would have served the purpose but you cannot not hurt the heart you loved and therefore I remain to linger on with a pseudo-friendship just so that she does not feel bad.  However, the sad part with such a friendship (where you still have feelings deep down your heart) is that you cannot do anything about it. It cannot end and there is no path for it to proceed. It stopped half a year ago and you remain stuck up at that place.

I think may be the fault was with me that I had become over eager to be with her. May be I should have not expected too much from her and may be she was right in saying that we are just friends (I cannot accept that how much I try). I realized my feelings not when things were fine, but when it was all over – strange is life and yet stranger are human – human relations !!!!!

 

 

Let’s learn to walk

How so many aims, how so many goals?
How so many un-quenched, ever thirsty souls?
What complexity, what a quagmire,
Why do we want, why desire ?

What is there that you can take?
Why then put such a precious life at stake?
For wealth and luxury are for a day’s sake,
True bliss and joy, they cannot make.

Why then the pretence, why the guile?
Why feign ignorance, every minute every while?
Lets observe ourselves, in a silent talk,
Let’s end the run, and learn to walk.

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Desire is a universal characteristic of human beings. Our aims in life are motivated by our wants and needs. The first stanza questions this longing. Why do we have so many ambitions and so many yearnings in life? I am referring to materialistic gains. Why do we depend so much on insignificant things in our lives? Most of our needs never get fulfilled. We set a hundred new aims once we achieve one. The cycle is endless and it makes us thirsty for material success. Our life has become a very complex process (quagmire)

In the second stanza I reverberate the idea that material wealth is transitory in nature. It is only a means and not an end. We should not put our precious life in order to build wealth (money) alone. Instead our aim should be to understand life and “live” a larger purpose.

In the last stanza, I try to bring out the point that we as humans are very intelligent. We have knowledge of the nature of things around us. Yet we do not accept reality – a reality that we are mortal beings. We ignore this particular fact. We live as though we are going to live forever. However, that fact is not true. “why the guile”  refers to the way we live such an artificial life. In our lust for money and for power we tend to cheat on people. Living a truthful life is such a rarity. I suggest people to understand life. Understanding oneself is very important. One needs to observe oneself in a silence quite like meditation.  Once a person comprehends his own being, life becomes easier to fathom. We all are creations of the same reality, and therefore the innate nature of things is just the same. It is about understanding ourselves. Let us meditate and deliberate on our own lives. Let us talk to ourselves in a calm and serene manner. Let us stopping running and give up this mad race. Let us give the pursuit of a success that has been defined by others. Let us move slowly, observe and learn.

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Life Vs Death

Answer to a question posted on Quora –

Everyone has a right to choose between life and death.
Living is meaningless, painful, tiresome and requires effort.
There are no gods, no spirits, no souls, no afterlives, no reincarnation.
There is no pain or effort or tiredness involved in death.
Why should anyone choose to keep living?

The answer would vary from person to person, for the understanding of life is a personal conception. There are several reasons why people choose life

1. People are scared of dying, because we are not sure what will happen to us after death. 
No one really has the answer to the question as to what really happens to us after death. Religion provides us with some answers. There is no sure proof. Besides, death has an in-built psychological connotations that make us afraid. It is regarded as a negative term. People are afraid of being alone too. Life is perceived as a blessing.

2. Emotions bind us to our the people we know.
For most of us, love is such a binding force that keeps us alive, provides us with energy, meaning and takes way all the tiredness from our lives. Death means a separation from those dear ones. Some have responsibilities too and they want to fulfill them before their lives. Some live for their love ones. Hence, emotional bonding with our dear ones is an important factor that keeps us from dying. Or lives evolves in a society and society has evolved to support our lives. The foremost factor must be the society that keeps us from dying.

3. Human race is essentially pleasure seeking.
We are a very optimistic race. We spend our lives unconscious of the inevitable death that looms large on our life. As we live, we understand that there would be pain. Yet, there are moments of pleasure too. We keep working towards those moments of pleasure. We learn from others. Achievement of our aim leads to an increment in the zeal, that propagates our will to live. It is a cyclic process. Ever wondered why do we actually feel jealous when others are happy ? For the exactly same reason. We live to be happy. And a moment of happiness becomes a sweet memory that motivates us to live. We are essentially a material seeking lot, and there is material once you are dead.

4. Humans build up aims, meaning to their lives.
We are very intelligent species. We have attached so much meaning to our lives that we have hardly any time to think up on death. We have so much cognitive knowledge. Our mind has evolved to learn facts. The dearth for knowledge, money, etc. pushes us to live. The lack of satisfaction is one quality that contributes to our will to live. We are a very competitive race too. Hence, we want to be the best. Theoretically only one can be the best and so you see every one keeps trying.

5. We are monkeys following each other. 
Since, people do not believe in death no body attempts it. We are followers of our society. If a person has no meaning left in his life and life becomes too painful then death could relieve him. However, since nobody is dying he would not attempt that too. Emulating our peers is a very common habit, since that is considered a stable state of life. So once had people been popularizing death, you would actually be asking the opposite question as to why do all die off so quickly, why do we not try to live ?

Some other reasons are:

6. Some are just not bothered about their lives.
7. Death is seen as a state of powerlessness.
8. The pain of death brings fear to the human mind

Reaction to Pain

Pain is as essential as any pleasure in life, for you cannot experience one over the other. We evolve a way to deal with in our lives. Some put their mind to something else, some give up and cry out, some blame it on destiny and a few accept it as it comes. The acceptance of pain is the final state that a human being reaches into either when the pain subsidies or when the pain becomes ineffectual in disturbing the being.
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